Deep brain stimulation, 100 million crabs, and theft of a thousand chairs.

Unlicensed genital enhancement, a traveling cat, and gold smugglers.

Six pounds of Haribo, a wanted Morgan Freeman, and luxury cars for toddlers.

A hair museum, a haunted hotel, and “nonsentient entities.”

An accidental ejection, the Breakfast Alarm Clock, and caught “superspeeding.”

A narcotics-smelling horse, rival swans, and save your fingernail clippings.

Cafe squatters, Dominos delivered by submarine, and don’t eat the blue flesh.

Adult binkies, Frankenstein rabbits, and a Corvette for the priest.

The power of poo, 124 mph over the limit, and wolves can’t stand Scarlett Johansson.

Smokey Bear aids an arrest, a brawl at Chuck E. Cheese, and a hungry osprey.