I’m back, y’all. I had to let everyone — including myself — cool down after my last column, “The Problem With Memphis.” The post blew up on Facebook, with well over 1,000 reactions and as many comments, the last I checked. I don’t believe that many people actually read what I wrote. In fact, I know they didn’t; we keep up with how many clicks each story generates. And that’s what got a little under my skin. Folks are really out here commenting whole paragraphs about an op-ed they didn’t read. Or just plugging in the poop emoji, whatever. If you want to continue hating on Memphis, go ahead. I’m not going to defend me defending our city. If you want to know my thoughts, you can click the link — not just read the headline. (Those of you reading an ink-on-paper hard copy, bless you. I see you — reading! That’s great. We love you, really.)
My attention span isn’t what it used to be because of the little black mirror tethered to my hand. Doomscrolling has presumably affected the way my brain works. Little hits of dopamine keep me tied to the phone, tapping from app to app, and so I’m guilty at times of not reading the whole article. (Shame on me.) But I wouldn’t air my grievances on a post I didn’t read. It’s just — people are so mad. And they got me fired up, too, and the next week I wrote a reactive column, pasted the words in the computer program we use to get them from a Google doc to a designed page. And then … I deleted the whole thing. Because I am not that person. And I am not going to be another bump on a log spreading this infectious negativity. I guess we agree to disagree and move on. Ugh, y’all almost got me!
If you haven’t determined by now, I’m a little sensitive. (But also a total badass, fyi.) So this task — writing to you all here — is a vulnerable one. I don’t want to use the space to rant about all that is wrong with the world and the people in it. There is too much wrong to even tackle that. So I tend to take it all in and try to put it in context. I inevitably look inward. How can I positively influence those around me, or my community? What steps can I take to help? Is there even anything I can do? I don’t always find immediate answers to those questions, but I know that by being empathetic, watching out for my neighbors, caring for the wellbeing of people beyond my circle of friends and family, I am better equipped to be on the right side of things. None of us will make a change — for ourselves and beyond — screaming expletives from behind a keyboard or arguing senselessly with strangers online. What are we accomplishing? More division.
If you’ve read this far, I have a task for you this coming week. Give someone a compliment — a quiet co-worker, a stranger in line at the grocery store — I bet they have cool shoes or pretty jewelry. Check on a friend — many are silently struggling financially, emotionally, or otherwise — a simple text could remind them you’re there for them. Give yourself a break — self-care is the best care. A lot of things are broken right now. Do not let it break you! Compassion is endangered. But we can lead by example. Be vulnerable in standing up for what you believe. Be supportive, be genuine, be kind. I may not have solutions to the city’s — or the world’s — problems, as some out there seem to expect I should. But I know where we can start.