Dammit, Gannett

Hey, kids! What say we document some of the weekly atrocities wrought by USA Today’s Commercial Appeal?

Like, remember that time when they totally identified Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood as Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda?

And, not to nitpick, but there’s a considerable difference between expecting “six inches or rain” and expecting “six inches of rain.”

One’s a great reason to stay indoors, the other’s just a reason.

Neverending Elvis

The best King-of-Rock-and-Roll related headline from the past week comes to us courtesy of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “Guy running for Congress named Elvis Presley does a mean Elvis Presley.”

Star-Telegram reporter Matthew Martinez looked outside the Lone Star state to report on Elvis D. Presley, who’s running as a Libertarian candidate for Arkansas’ U.S. House District 1.

Elvis D. is a resident of Star City (where else?) and has also run for governor, and land commissioner, but would probably settle for just being your Teddy Bear.