Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bianca Knows Best ... and Helps a Guy With a Selfish Girlfriend

Posted By on Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 12:24 PM

Dear Bianca,

Several months ago, I took in a friend who was having a hard time. He’d lost his job and couldn’t make his rent, so I offered my couch until he could get back on his feet. Within two weeks, he’d landed another job, and he’s been saving money to pay for a deposit on a new apartment. If all goes as planned, he says he’ll be out within a month.

Under normal circumstances, I’d be fine with him staying for another month. But my girlfriend wants to move in, and she says she’s not okay with having a couch crasher live with us. In fact, she and this friend don’t really get along at all.

I would just tell my girlfriend to wait a month before moving in, but the lease on her apartment is up in a week. I can’t really kick out my friend when he’s so close to saving up enough money to move out. He really has nowhere else to go.

My girlfriend said I have to choose. If I don’t kick the guy out, she says she’s getting an apartment with her best friend and they’re signing a year lease. I was really looking forward to sharing a place with her. Basically, I’ve got an ultimatum here: Should I kick out my couch-crashing friend for my girlfriend? Or should I stand by my couch-crasher and let my girlfriend move in with her friend?

— Confused

Dear Confused,

Your girlfriend sounds like a real ass. She can’t even deal with this couch-crashing friend for a month? She’d rather you kick your friend out in the street so she can be comfortable?

This situation is really a no-brainer. You have to put your foot down and tell your girlfriend that you’re not going to kick your friend to the curb a month before he’s able to move out. If the friend were living there indefinitely, without a job or a plan, your girlfriend might have a point.

But if this guy is so close to being on his own, she should suck it up and deal with his presence for a few weeks. It sounds like she really isn’t all that excited about moving in with you anyway. Maybe she’s using the couch-crasher guy as an excuse. Maybe she’d rather move in with her best girlfriend instead.

So long as your friend is keeping his end of the bargain (working, saving money), you have a responsibility to let him stay as long as you’d originally planned. To kick him out over a girl violates the trust between friends. And don’t forget that girlfriends may not always be around, but friends are more likely to stick by your side.

Let the girlfriend move in with her best friend, and if she’s still with you after her lease is up in a year, then maybe you two should move in together.

Got a problem? E-mail Bianca at bphillips@memphisflyer.com

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